You are being chiseled by life.
From a block of undifferentiated humanness, you are being molded into something.
As the days and years go by, life throws its challenges at you. You have no choice. Life is coming at you in a strangely familiar way. For some reason it keeps giving you the problems that you haven’t seemed to be able to solve. And you can give in to the barrage of life-stuff or you can rise to the challenge, but either way it is coming at you—shaping you as each bit of it breaks off some of the block to make you more refined and experienced.
This doesn’t end. You just keep on becoming. It gets clearer and clearer just what you are made of and who you are. But you may never quite know what that is, because there is more of you to uncover. You get clearer and more focused and more unique. You get more you.
And sometimes it hurts.
It is not always fun to become. You are faced with struggle after struggle. Sometimes you do well with the struggles, other times you get overwhelmed, other times you just pass the time. It all shapes you and in the funniest way you can come years later to realize that when you thought you were screwing it all up you were actually learning the most important lesson.
And sometimes you just have to try harder. Sometimes you have to give in.
And hopelessness when taken to its limit turns into hope. And anxiety taken to its limit produces calm. You change infinitely from one thing to the next, and you grow.
And oddly, you are always you.
Even though that you is not the same today it was yesterday, it’s still you. You are never someone else. You are more you than you were when you were born. But when you were born you were also you. Just wait and see how you you can be with more practice and refinement, having traversed unspeakable fears and challenges to find yourself wherever it is you end up before moving on again.
You’ve been through a lot. And you’ve been here the whole time.
So just keep shedding the old skin, like a snake, to reveal the newest you in technicolor form–creatively becoming. It’s not that serious. And it is incredibly real.
You are making it all up as you go along.
Try not to worry so much about doing it right. You are, even when you’re doing it wrong, because you are learning what works best. Don’t stop yourself. Don’t try to be like anyone else. It isn’t worth it and it doesn’t matter and it doesn’t suit you anyway. Find the flame of your creativity and your excitement and follow it. It won’t burn out as long as you use the energy to forge yourself into something you want to be.
And don’t worry about getting off track. You will. It’s just part of it. But you have time and you will find your way back again.