The Key to Finding Opportunity in Your Biggest Struggle
Is there some area of your life where you are completely stuck? A struggle that never goes away? Is there one thing you just can’t seem to figure out or some mistake you keep making over and over again?
Chances are something popped into your head immediately, without even having to think about it. Chances are you have something that really bothers you. That one thing you can’t change that causes you to suffer. There are so many examples.
Every one of us has something like this. Even people who seem to have their lives totally sorted out usually have this one thing that keeps getting to them.
Maybe it’s that you don’t believe in yourself.
Maybe you can’t seem to figure out relationships
Maybe you have a hard time standing up for yourself.
Maybe you feel scared or empty inside.
I want to tell you something really important.
You are not just a victim of your circumstance. Even though it often seems that issues like depression, loneliness, anxiety or relationship troubles are happening to you, there is a way to see things differently.
There is a way to turn your biggest struggle into an opportunity.
Actually, your struggle is already an opportunity. Your life is presenting with you with this problem in order to push you to learn a really important lesson. I have seen this happen over and over again with people I work with.
You may not want to hear this, but it’s actually here to help you. By design life gives us the perfect opportunities to grow and learn our lessons. And it does this whether we like it or not. We learn our lessons one way or another. And until we start doing something different the same lesson will keep coming back up over and over again.
This can really suck. Feelings like anxiety, depression and trauma are so painful. When we keep making the same mistakes in relationships, things can be so confusing. When we feel lonely and isolated, life can feel like a nightmare. And it is so understandable that you get stuck in the pain and suffering.
But you don’t have to stay stuck. In a very real way, this is all a matter of perspective.
Let me explain! I’m not saying that your pain is imagined or all in your head. What I am saying is that there is another way of looking at your problem that can help you transform it.
When I look back on the most difficult struggles I had in the past—the ones I transformed and moved past—I feel completely blessed that I was pushed to make those changes and learn my lessons.
I didn’t feel that way at the time I was struggling. But I definitely feel that way in hindsight.
Can you think of something like this in your life? Something that you were so sure would never change that you were eventually able to conquer?
So what’s the key to finding opportunity in your struggle?
The key is to learn to appreciate the struggle itself.
One of the best things you can do is learn to see your struggles as challenges while you are struggling with them. These are opportunities that help to move you toward what you want. When you start to see your pain as an opportunity, it begins to flip the situation upside down. It takes the power out of what you are struggling with and gives it back to you.
It gives you the power because it puts you in a position to make big changes.
You stop avoiding the difficult situation, and let yourself embrace it.
You let in the pain and start to really face how stuck you are.
But how can you accept something that is causing you so much pain? Well you accept it by seeing that it is actually there to help you grow. After all, would you really do the most difficult work in your life if you weren’t struggling so much? If it weren’t absolutely necessary would you really do anything necessary to change it? Would you work that hard?
When you get to the point where you just can’t stand it anymore, something really transformational occurs. You step up and do what you need to do.
The very first thing you have to do is get real about the fact that you are suffering. As long as you keep hiding from it, distracting yourself from it, pretending it’s not so bad, you can’t use it to grow and you will keep suffering.
When you get real about your anxiety or depression or relationships or loneliness or whatever it is, you start to do something about it.
You start making changes in your life.
You start to journal or do some kind of personal growth practice.
You finally get up the courage to ask for help.
You start talking about your struggles with people you trust instead of keeping them to yourself.
When you get honest with yourself you will discover that there are absolutely ways to make the journey easier and to learn the lessons faster.
And you don’t have to figure it out alone. There are so many great therapists and healers you can reach out to for support. And finding support from someone who is trained to help you work through difficult feelings will really jumpstart your growth.
I want to leave you with one final thought. A basic truth if you see it this way. I have seen this happen more than once in my own life. And I have seen it happen in other people.
The process of transformation usually goes like this:
You have a curse
Then you have a lot of work to do
Then you have a gift
So roll up your sleeves, get real, get support, and dig in. Because whatever the lesson is, it is one that you need to learn and you will be so happy that you did!